There is so much to learn in life...and the process never stops. Each day I learn a little more...in so many ways.
I love food. I admit that. Even proudly! But...using food as a means of congratulating myself and turning to it when something goes wrong are not healthy approaches. It is a pretty constant struggle so far, but I do hope it will become easier with time and practice.
For so long, I believed it was all or nothing. I either had to be perfect or screw it. Yet, the ups and downs are normal. I often have a bad day, next day I try again. That one day does not make or break me.
It may seem like a crazy statement, but water takes the fat off me. It improves my moods and gives me energy. I know it may sound silly, but I swear it is true.
I think about how I ate before WW and know that it has radically changed the way I eat. Even when I thought I was good, my portions were out of control. Or I would think that so long as I got in a salad for the day, I was eating well. I think about the typical day before WW and cringe at the amount and quality of the food I was eating.
Before starting WW, I would try to eat well but would have those bad food days. This would spiral into guilt at screwing up. I would hold it over myself and in the end, decide to forget it. Guilt only works for so long before it becomes frustration...and finally a blaise attitude. Now, I take the next day as a new chance and stop beating myself up about yesterday...for the most part... *smile*
It is a lesson with which I am still struggling. Yet, I should know I can call to others for help in my struggles... I thank my friends (both those rl and vr) and a few great mailing lists in helping me stick with this. Before now, I had felt too embarrassed and like I was bound to fail. But now...with others there to help me through the rough points, this is changing.
I gained a bunch of the weight I lost back between some personal adjustments to living with my sweetie (now husband) & chipping a bone in my ankle. I focus on today and not where I have been. I have to look at today as a new chance to succeed and not dwell on being heavier than I was at my lowest point...
It is wrong to give up the foods I love. It doesn't work and leads to bingeing! Making healthy choices allows me to eat chocolate. And you know, I enjoy one piece more now than when I would sit down and eat a pound of it.
The journey is a long one. But sometimes the roadblocks are part of the learning process. There are those weeks when the scale won't budge. Or times when life gets the better of me. Or when I enjoy food a bit too much. Do I wish I was at goal all ready? You bet! But I know that when I reach my goal, I will have the tools to keep the weight off as I am learning along the way.
All comments, suggestions, or just hi theres are welcome! Just
me at akkashasbigbattle@yahoogroups.com.
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